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if on a winter's night....

today: ordered christmas gifts and a book from amazon arrive in the mail. some wrapping. a phone call from new york. catching up while getting dressed. buy cigarrettes, yet another lighter. talking down the street. missed the bus. caught the next bus. read new book: a stunning synchronicity. therapy: she tells me my psychatrist left his job without notice. stunned. she gives me techniques to cope with my anxiety.

tonight: realization sinks in. my disappearing doctor leaves me sad. dinner at haab's. we both have salmon. i can only eat half of my coconut cream pie. we walk home in the freezing wind. snuggling for a little minute on the sofa. he is so warm. his eyelashes are long pieces of licorice. later: he goes home to pay bills and to sleep. his first day at work was good. this makes me happy.

later still: christmas cards, "medium," uploading pictures. taking out the trash. flat ginger-ale. one goldfish cracker before i change my mind. yogurt.

now: up too late. very tired. one more cigarette. then sleeeeep....

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